Two Pregnant Ladies
by NogeiloGirl
Summary: The Jonas adventures take flight when he winds up stranded with two very pregnant ladies . . .
1. The Fall Guy

Disclaimer: Stargate and cast are not owned by me. That   
  
privilege belongs to Richard Dean Anderson and company.  
  
Inspired by our brother Seth's nickname for us (my sister,   
  
Kelly, and I) during the eating behavior of our diet.  
  
*******************  
  
Chapter 1: The Fall Guy  
  
***********************  
  
"Are you finished yet?" Sam asked, running a hand over   
  
her sweat-dampened hair. She placed her half of the   
  
paperwork onto the thin pile of done reports.   
  
"No. It will be awhile, unfortunately." Jack scowled,  
  
picking at the ever-thickening pile of papers stacked on his   
  
desk. He looked up from his work and eyed Sam carefully.   
  
"Go on home honey. I will catch up as soon as I can."  
  
She sighed, and did not move from her seat across from   
  
him. "I'd rather stay and help you," she replied stonily.   
  
"Normally I would agree, but not this time. You need to go  
  
home and get some rest. You're a week away, remember?"  
  
"How could I forget," she retorted, pushing herself up from   
  
the cushioned chair.   
  
"Sounds fine, but first, we need to make a trip to the store,  
  
for, ah--a few things," Janet interrupted, waddling into the  
  
room, followed by a pestering Daniel.  
  
"What now?" both Jack and Daniel whined.  
  
Daniel good-naturedly grabbed a fourth of Jack's stack off  
  
the desk, thumbing through them. "Jack and I just went  
  
grocery shopping for you two yesterday."   
  
"Yes, but pregnant women have needs," Janet explained   
  
matter-of-factly.   
  
"Yeah, so do the pregnant ladies' husbands," Daniel   
  
muttered.   
  
"Okay, fine," Jack resigned. "But I want someone   
  
accompanying you."  
  
Daniel's mouth dropped open in astonishment. "You what!"  
  
"You've got to be kidding me? Janet is exactly one week   
  
overdue, and . . ."  
  
Exasperated, Janet rolled her eyes. "Daniel, I've waited   
  
this long, what's one more day. Besides, when I go into   
  
labor you'll be the first to know. Anyway, I feel fine. Not a   
  
twinge of pain all day."  
  
"Nor does it mean you won't have any," he admonished,   
  
waving a finger at her. Crankily, Janet was tempted to bite   
  
the finger poking at her nose. However, she held her tongue,  
  
knowing he was right. Rashly, Janet spoke. "Fine. I vote  
  
we take . . . Jonas!"   
  
At that moment, a confidently smiling face poked his head  
  
in the doorway. "Did someone mention my name?" All eyes   
  
turned to the familiar voice.   
  
"Uh, actually yeah. You're a very wanted man, Jonas,"   
  
Jack replied dryly, spinning around in his chair.   
  
"Really!" Jonas beamed. "By whom?"  
  
"Us!" Janet and Sam replied cheerily. 


	2. An Alien to Watch Over Me

Disclaimer: I do not own SG-1. Those rights belong to Gekko, MGM, RDA, Greenburg Etc.  
  
If you would like to borrow this story, please ask first. Thanks!  
  
Thanks for all the reviews. Hope you keep reading! :-)  
  
Chapter 2: An Alien to Watch Over Me  
  
"You ladies-want me?" he squeaked.  
  
"Yes," Janet answered, crooking her finger at him. "We need a favor." Sam felt a  
  
twinge of guilt as Jonas hesitantly made his way over to them. He looked like a forlorn,  
  
frightened puppy.  
  
"Uh Jack, did I do something wrong?" Jonas inquired.  
  
"No, not yet."  
  
"Janet and I are going to the grocery store and we would like you to accompany us.  
  
On the way back, we'll drop you off here. Hopefully," Sam shot Jack a meaningful look,  
  
"between Jack and Daniel, all Jack's paperwork will be finished and they'll be ready  
  
to go when we get back."  
  
"Be careful," Jack admonished, planting a kiss on Sam's lips.  
  
"We will, but hurry up with the paperwork would you? I have a back waiting to be  
  
massaged and feet to be rubbed," Sam said with a soft smile.  
  
"I just have a baby to squeeze out," Janet quipped irritably, as Daniel attempted to  
  
wrap his arm around her waist. "I'll see you soon," she said, giving him a peck on the  
  
cheek. "Give it up honey, you stopped being able to see my waist weeks ago."  
  
"Keep an eye on them, Jonas," Jack's voice filtered through the doorway.  
  
"Yeah sure, you betcha!"  
  
A light snow began to fall as Sam, somewhat awkwardly, climbed into Jack's black  
  
pick-up.  
  
"Um, you want me to drive," Jonas offered, nervously thinking back to Jack's words.  
  
"Nope, I still fit behind the wheel pretty good," Sam said with a grin. Jonas nodded  
  
and stared out the windshield in awe. "I've never seen snow before."  
  
Sam glanced at him in wonderment. "Really? It didn't snow in Kelowna?"  
  
"No, never. What does this stuff taste like? Is it good?"  
  
Janet laughed. "No. We don't eat snow, although I suppose in an emergency it  
  
could be put to good use."  
  
"Hmm, interesting. I'd like to try it sometime. What?" he demanded, as the  
  
expectant women gave him an odd look.  
  
Janet grinned devilishly. "You know, there is something called yellow snow . . ."  
  
"Jaannet . . "  
  
"Okay, okay. Sheesh, you're becoming more like Daniel every day," Janet groused.  
  
"And you're becoming more like Jack every day," Sam said pointedly.  
  
"Ladies, please." Sam looked down and noticed Jonas's hand was gripping the  
  
panel so hard his knuckles were turning white.  
  
"What's the matter?" Sam inquired, concerned.  
  
"I've noticed-the car isn't touching the road."  
  
Sam laughed. "Of course it is. You just can't feel it because the road is so slippery."  
  
"Doesn't that make you nervous?" Jonas asked.  
  
"If it was Jack driving, then yes, but I don't attempt to stop on a dime, ride  
  
someone's bumper, or beat the stoplight before it turns red, or . . ."  
  
"I, uh, have a meeting to attend with Jack and Daniel. Jack's driving."  
  
Sam gave Jonas a quick look. Her eyes widened in comprehension. "You haven't  
  
driven with Jack yet. Oh, then-never mind."  
  
They pulled into the parking lot as Janet yanked the 2 page list out of her pocket.  
  
Jonas's eyes widened. "I thought it was just a few things."  
  
"It is, for me. Sam has the other list." Stifling a grin, Sam just shook her head.  
  
"Here Janet, let me help you. After a few tugs, Jonas finally retrieved Janet from the  
  
extended cab, while Sam made her way to the grocery store entrance. They caught up  
  
with Sam and stepped through the sliding doors. Janet whispered anxiously, "I'm glad  
  
they changed the doors. Their revolving doors frightened me. Did you see that one  
  
woman who managed to get stuck in them. After 5 hours, they were finally able to pry  
  
her out with the jaws of life."  
  
Jonas stared at her, "You're kidding right?"  
  
Janet looked him in the eyes. "No, and she too was pregnant."  
  
Jonas gulped as the image flashed through his brain. He pictured Janet, held up  
  
inside their metal confines, screaming, kicking and beating her attempted rescuers senseless.  
  
As if sensing his thoughts, Sam leaned over and whispered, "Don't let Janet scare  
  
you. She's cranky and trying to be tough, but deep down the thought of having twins  
  
scares her more than anything. Besides, she just wants to give birth and get it over  
  
with."  
  
"Tw, twins," he stammered.  
  
Sam nodded affirmatively. "Mm hmm."  
  
What felt like forever to Jonas, but was really only 45 minutes later, they left the store.  
  
Carrying three hefty bags full, he was never so glad to dump those bags in the  
  
extended cab. Doubtful that Janet would fit in the back seat, he casually suggested  
  
she sit up front. Grateful surprise flitted across her face. "Why, thank you Jonas. I  
  
was beginning to feel rather cramped back there."  
  
He smiled cheekily, "You're welcome."  
  
About half-way back to the SGC, the lightly falling snow began to fall from the sky in  
  
oversized cotton balls. "Hail," muttered Sam darkly, as she heard one crack against  
  
the roof. "Jack is not going to be a happy camper." Sam squinted through the swirling  
  
mass of snow in front of them. "I can barely see."  
  
"Why don't we stop at the cabin until this blows over," Janet suggested.  
  
"Good idea," Sam replied through tightly clenched teeth as they made a last-minute  
  
turn onto the off ramp. Sam glanced in the rear-view mirror. "You doing okay back  
  
there, Jonas?"  
  
"Yep, never been better," he quipped. For Sam, however, it was hard to ignore the  
  
solid, knotted objects known as knuckles, poking between her shoulder blades.  
  
Sam pulled onto the long, winding drive that led to their  
  
cabin and heaved a sigh of relief as Jonas removed his hands from the back of her  
  
seat. "Janet, would you dial the SGC?"  
  
"Sure." Sam felt Janet press the hard plastic up of the cell phone against her ear.  
  
"O'Neill speaking."  
  
"Jack, this is Sam. We are stopping off at the cabin to weather out the snowstorm.  
  
Okay, I love you too." No sooner had Janet clicked the phone shut, the truck began to  
  
fishtail. Dropping the phone, Janet gasped and clenched the door handle. She  
  
flattened herself against the front seat as Jonas flattened himself against the back seat.  
  
"Hang on!" Sam cried. Attempting to steer out of the spin, she yanked hard on the  
  
wheel, but it gave her no regard as the pick-up slid downward into the embankment! 


	3. Trapped!

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1 and cast. RDA, Gekko, MGM, etc. have   
  
those rights. Lucky ones!   
  
Thanks everyone for all your input and feedback. It is much appreciated.   
  
Hope you keep reading!   
  
*********************  
  
Chapter 3: Trapped!   
  
"What'd she say?"  
  
Jack replaced the receiver in it's cradle and turned around. "They are going to   
  
wait out the storm."  
  
"What storm?"  
  
"That one," Jack said, pointing at the television screen. "I took time to educate  
  
myself on the current events while you did my paperwork."  
  
Frowning, Daniel took off his glasses. "Did Sam happen to mention how Janet   
  
was doing?"  
  
Jack shook his head, "Nah, but I'm sure she's fine."  
  
Suddenly, Jack jumped up from his chair and reached behind him. "Which   
  
reminds me--check this out."   
  
Daniel took the yellow envelope from Jack's outstretched hand and flipped it   
  
over, revealing a sleeping gray cat on the cover. Smiling slightly, he opened it and  
  
read, " 'If I had nine lives, I'd spend them all with you.' Nice anniversary card Jack,   
  
but I doubt Sam will buy that."   
  
"I know, but she'll love me for it anyway," Jack replied. Grinning smugly, he  
  
casually locked his arms behind his head and leaned back in his chair.   
  
Daniel grinned. "Probably. It will remind her of Shroedinger. Speaking of, for   
  
being such a dog lover, you seem to have grown quite fond of the kitty," Daniel   
  
insinuated, a twinkle in his eye.  
  
"Aw, he's just a big ball of fluff. A cute fur ball," he muttered under his breath.   
  
"I heard that Jack, you old softy."   
  
The smile fell from Daniel's lips, concern evident on his face. "Jack, Sam is   
  
almost due, yet she is still sweet to you. I don't understand why Janet is so   
  
different. Sure, she's a week overdue, but . . ." he trailed off uncertainly.   
  
Suddenly, Daniel blurted out, "Why is she so mean to me?"   
  
Jack clapped Daniel on the shoulder. "Why do you think I sent Jonas to   
  
accompany them?" Daniel glared at him. "Just kidding!"  
  
"Okay," Jack said slowly. "You said it yourself. Nine months has already come  
  
and gone. Though I'm not a woman, an extra week of carrying around 2 super size   
  
babies would make me cranky too."   
  
Daniel nodded slowly. "I suppose you're right but she always snaps at me."   
  
"Honestly, you hover too much. Janet knows you care, and she wouldn't have it  
  
any other way. She just wants, no needs, some space."  
  
"I only want to be there for her. I always worry about Janet, hovering about . .   
  
. oh," he finished quietly.   
  
Jack nodded, his face softening at the perfect 'O' of Daniel's mouth. "It's   
  
alright, don't sweat it, Danny boy. Besides, don't get me started on Sam. I'll love   
  
her till my dying breath, but she is so . . ."  
  
"Stubborn," Daniel supplied with a small grin.  
  
"Even more so than before she was pregnant!" Jack exclaimed in exasperation.   
  
You saw her tonight, I had to practically shove her out the door."  
  
Daniel hid an amused smile. "Oh really, I hadn't noticed."  
  
"Alright, you're done, Jack," Daniel announced, placing the last paper on top the  
  
done pile.  
  
"Really?" Jack looked at Daniel with glee. "Great! Thanks!" Jack glanced at his  
  
watch.   
  
"Speaking of women, maybe the storm has let up. Let's see if we can escape   
  
to go see our adoring wives."   
  
Daniel grinned. "Sounds like a plan." They took the elevator to the main floor,   
  
stepped out . . . and ran right into an SGC guard.   
  
He saluted, then shook his head. "Colonel, Doctor, I'm afraid you can't leave."  
  
Jack drew his bushy eyebrows together in consternation. "What do you mean,   
  
can't leave? Why not?" he demanded.   
  
Daniel put a hand on Jack's shoulder. "Easy Jack," Daniel cautioned.  
  
Jack took a step back and relaxed his stance somewhat. "Um yeah, right."  
  
"The storm has increased in severity. It looks like we're in for a blizzard, Sir." 


	4. Jonas to the Rescue!

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate and the cast. RDA, Gekko, MGM etc., have  
  
exclusive rights. Lucky them! :)  
  
Chapter 4: Jonas to the Rescue!  
  
Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I hope you keep reading! :-)  
  
*********************************  
  
"Is everyone okay?" Jonas asked, picking himself up off the floor. "Jack needs  
  
to get better seat belts," he mumbled to himself. "Sam, Janet . . ." his voice trailed  
  
off as he peeked over the seat to find Sam slumped across the wheel and Janet up   
  
against the window. Instinctively, he threw open his door, but quickly closed it as   
  
the vehicle began to turn over! Scrambling to the other side, he managed to force  
  
the vehicle back on all fours.  
  
"Sam!" he cried. Realizing both women were unconscious, Jonas took a deep   
  
breath and threw open the drivers' side door. His boots crunching on the icy   
  
ground, he cautiously stepped out of the truck. Anxiously, Jonas yanked open   
  
Sam's door and placed two fingers against her carotid artery. Feeling the blood   
  
pulsate strongly beneath his fingertips, Jonas gave Sam's shoulder a gentle shake.   
  
Her eyes fluttered open, "Huh, what?"   
  
"Sam," he whispered, "Are you okay? The baby . . ."  
  
Recalling her surroundings, Sam's hand immediately flew to her bulging stomach.   
  
Smiling wryly, she replied, "Alive and kicking. I think I woke it up."   
  
Jonas's ghost of a smile vanished when he looked over at Janet. "What?" Sam  
  
asked in alarm. She turned to look at her friend. "Janet!" she gasped. Clambering   
  
clumsily to Janet's side, Sam froze as she felt the pick-up lurch.   
  
Quickly, Jonas pulled Sam back to her seat. "I need you to get out of the car.   
  
Then I'll pull out Janet."   
  
Clearly shaken, Sam nodded numbly. "But if she's hurt . . ."  
  
"I know it won't be good to move her, but we have no choice. Will you be able  
  
to able grab Janet's ankles as her feet clear the seat?"  
  
Sam nodded. "Just say when."  
  
"Good." Carefully, Jonas stretched across the seat and undid Janet's seat belt.  
  
Locking his arms under hers, he pulled Janet across the seat. "Now!" he yelled.   
  
Instantly, Sam reached for her ankles. Jonas strengthened his grip on Janet.   
  
"Okay, you can let go now,thanks." Hoisting Janet up into his arms, he cradled her   
  
bloody head against his shoulder.  
  
Sam reached up and felt Janet's wrist. "Erratic but strong."  
  
"Good. The sooner we get her awake and warm, the better."  
  
Jonas's gaze flicked to Sam. His eyes danced with amusement at the   
  
astonished look on her face. "Didn't think I'd be able to carry her huh?"  
  
"I didn't expect . . . no," Sam stated flatly.   
  
With a groan, Jonas shifted the doctor in his arms, as a spasm of pain twinged in  
  
his lower back and traveled down his leg. "Uh Sam?"  
  
"Hmm?" she asked, lost in thought, as they began the long trudge through the   
  
snow-covered ground to the cabin.   
  
"You know those bone-crushing doctors you are always talking about?"  
  
Sam smothered a laugh, "Chiropractors you mean."  
  
"Yes well, I think I am going to need one soon." Sam howled with laughter.   
  
A mixture of irritation and hurt on his face, Jonas stared at her. "What's so   
  
funny?" he demanded.  
  
"Nothing, it's just . . . bone crushing. You mean bone crunching."   
  
"Oh yeah, bone crunching . . . right. That's what Jack is always saying.   
  
Straightening up, Jonas repeated Jack's words with gusto, " ' Bone crunchers -- are  
  
the last people I need to see, what with my knees, arms, back and all."  
  
Sam rubbed at her eyes. "That's my Jack."   
  
"Don't cry. We'll be fine, Sam."  
  
"You never cease to amaze me, Jonas," Sam replied with a shake of her head.   
  
"If it wasn't for my hormones . . ."  
  
Jonas just shook his head and smiled. "Two SG-1 members in a Sarcophagus.   
  
You and Jack are more alike than you may realize."  
  
Fishing the cabin key out of her pocket, Sam looked up at him through her tears   
  
and laughed. Unlocking the cabin door, Sam pushed it open, only to be met by a  
  
cold burst of air.   
  
"It's awfully cold in here. Somehow I thought it would be warmer," Jonas   
  
commented.   
  
"Jack doesn't have electric heating. This is his place to get back to basics.   
  
We'll just have to chuck some firewood into the fireplace." Jonas cocked his head in   
  
confusion. Sam looked at him and grinned. "I mean throw some wood into the   
  
fireplace."  
  
"Gotcha. I'll go look for some -- as soon as I lay Janet on the sofa. Sam pulled   
  
the beige receiver off it's hook and dialed the SGC while Jonas closed the front door   
  
shut with his foot. His arms ached as he laid Janet on the couch. "Excuse me Sam,   
  
where do you keep the blankets?"   
  
"Just grab one off the bed, upstairs," Sam replied. Impatiently, she drummed   
  
her fingernails against the wood counter, waiting for someone to pick up the   
  
telephone line.   
  
"O'Neill speaking."  
  
"Jack . . ."  
  
"Sam, I was beginning to worry. Are you and Janet alright? We are stuck here  
  
at the SGC. Blizzard."  
  
"Same here. We're at the cabin."  
  
Jack breathed a sigh of relief. "Good, at least you're okay."  
  
"Not exactly. We were in an accident . . ."  
  
"Sam!" Jack cried into the receiver. The silence coming from the other end was  
  
deafening.  
  
"Jack!" Sam stared back at the receiver in disbelief. She slammed the phone   
  
down and turned to Jonas, who was covering up a shivering Janet. "The telephone   
  
lines are down." Then the single lamp that Jack left on 24/7, flickered out. 


End file.
